I Wish American Cars Were Cool

Last weekend I dragged my long-suffering fiance, Cora, to the New York Auto Show. Despite not even having a drivers license, she conducted herself with great aplomb as I darted around to my favorite shiny objects like a 15 year old boy at… a car show.

“Hey!” I’d exclaim. “There’s the Aston Marton Rapide!”

“Nice.” She’d say distractedly as I craned my head to get a closer look at the gearshift.

“Holy shit, they have a Bugatti Veyron! Did you know it costs $1.8M dollars and has a top speed of 253mph?”

“Pretty.” came the reply.

And on it went for a couple of hours. The Land Rover Evoque, the new Jaguar XJ. An Audi TT here, a convertible BMW 135i there. And everywhere I went, there were crowds of people fighting for a few seconds in the cockpit of a Porsche Panamera or to have their picture taken next to a Ferrari.

At some point I decided to steal a hopeful glance at some domestic toys. Hopeful because I’ve had a long running desire to buy American. Or at least to desire American the same way I desire Japanese, German and Italian. I want to have pride in our manufacturing and design. I want to watch the stock price of Ford rise to its Japanese and German counterparts. I want to avoid another situation where my hard earned tax dollars are spent saving American car companies that should not have needed saving in the first place.

Define me

Like most Americans, I define myself in part by the car I drive. I think it’s reasonable that, when making one of the biggest purchases of your life, if possible, you should take the time to find a car that truly suits your lifestyle, values and aesthetics. And I love the idea that, this being America and all, we have the opportunity to pick from a myriad of prices, technology and styles. I would go so far as to say that purchasing an object perfectly suited to your personality often makes life more enjoyable.

At this very moment, my perfect car is the MINI Cooper. It’s small and therefore easy to park in NYC where I live, it’s incredibly fuel efficient which appeals to my green side, and it’s quirky and interesting which I love. It’s also made by BMW which means that it inherits some of their technologies and design which I’ve always admired. In particular, it corners like it’s on rails. Nothing is more entertaining.

So my criteria are as follows: good mileage, fun to drive, stylish looks, great handling and affordable. I’m not asking for the world here. Do you disagree with any of those?

So why is it so difficult to find a truly great car made in the greatest country on Earth? Why does slipping into the driver’s seat of an American car feel plain and ordinary? Why is the exterior utterly forgettable? Why is the steering soft? Why does the car have to weigh six tons? Why is bigger always better around here?

Sure, the Mustang looks good this year. But it gets two miles to the gallon and it’s the size of a school bus. The Ford Fiesta, on the other hand, gets great mileage but it looks like an egg on a skateboard. Of course, the Ford GT is completely drool-worthy. But it costs $185,000. I think that list covers every American vehicle that isn’t a pickup truck or a minivan.

Now, lest you think I’m elitist, let me rush to my own defense: there is nothing wrong with buying an affordable and sensible car (I did). My complaint is that non-American car companies offer those characteristics with panache and gravitas. American cars give you affordable and sensible that’s been beaten by the ugly stick. It resembles a box with wheels, the craftsmanship is poor, and there’s no thought given to ergonomics. There’s no fun.

My question is: why? Everyone else figured out how to make cars that elicit some positive emotion from their owners. The Toyota Celica I used to own cost the same or less than most of GM’s lineup. But it had graceful curves, the wheel felt great in my hands, it looked and felt impressive. We’re not talking about a Ferrari here. It cost less than a Chevy Impala.

Here’s an interesting fact: Hyundai just posted a 46% increase in profit. Little ‘ol Hyundai! Have you see one lately? They look damn good. I sat in one at the car show. Thoughtful design, pleasantly ergonomic, and fuel efficient. Is this rocket science? No. It’s attitude. Hyundai is an underdog. And as such, they set about looking for ways to bring in market share. And then someone over there woke up one day and said, “I got an idea, let’s make our customers happy instead of resting on our circa 1952 laurels (I’m talking to you, GM).

So they hired a designer, looked at their cars from the driver’s point of view and created a line of desirable yet affordable cars.

People, this is not rocket science. The only thing standing in the way of The Big Three is hubris. They’re doing it like they’ve always done it because that’s how it’s always been done. And that’s a terrible way to do business.

One single Chevy Volt is not going to change Detroit.  And belatedly jumping on the hybrid bandwagon, while admirable, is not a strategy for future development. Someone over there has to get out of his ivory tower and find out why so many of us are looking to Europe and Asia for automotive satisfaction. It’s time to buy a copy of Consumer Reports and see why American cars are rated so badly. And it’s time to admit that the American car driving public – which is most of us – feel righteous in our demand for safety, fuel economy, reliability and, yes, even a little fun.

-KJ